by Todd Sivers
If you’re sitting down while reading this, you’re in a relationship with the chair you’re sitting on. You trust it and rely on it to keep you a couple feet from the floor, and fairly comfortable. And if you’re at home, you probably count on that chair to express something about you, your style and taste.
If the chair fails to provide what you expect, your relationship with it will change. You won’t keep it in your home another day if it doesn’t keep you two feet from the floor. You may not keep it long if it isn’t comfortable. And even if it is sturdy and comfortable, you may not keep it if it starts looking worn or out of style. When that happens, you’ll probably replace it with a different chair.
You have a relationship with your chair. You have certain expectations of your chair. As long as it meets or exceeds your expectations, you’ll be happy with the relationship, and you’ll keep the chair around. If the chair changes, or your expectations, needs or wants change, you may part with the chair, or replace it. This is all very relational. In fact, It’s very similar to your relationship with many people. The way you think about your chair, your house, and your car is relational. You relate to them. You have a relationship with them.
Of course, machines and inanimate objects like chairs don’t relate to you. But you do relate to them. And seeing that you have a relationship with each item you use, like cash and clothes, is important. You treat those relationships exactly like human relationships. Usually with less sentiment, but not always.
In my den there is an antique rocking chair. My great, great grandmother gave that rocking chair to my great grandfather when he graduated college and started teaching. He kept that chair in his one-room school house, occasionally rocking the youngest children in it while he gave them each individual attention. He sat in it and watched the kids do the work he had written on the black board. And I imagine, he would occasionally sit in it for a while after the boys and girls had left for the day to relax and take in the quiet of the empty room before walking or riding his horse home.
Perhaps, he carried a flask, and enjoyed a sip of something potent in that chair at the end of a hard day. Maybe, he would get there early, and sit in that chair to pray in the school day and read his Bible. (That tattered Bible is in our safe. It didn’t fare as well as the chair, but I treasure it just the same.)
When he retired, he took his chair home. And when he died, my grandfather inherited it. It was one of very few items that survived the fire that destroyed my grandparent’s home in 1939, and nearly killed my two-year-old father.
When they moved to the farmhouse where I grew up, it was one of just a few pieces of furniture they had at first.
When my grandmother died in 1996, my father inherited the rocking chair. And since my wife was pregnant with our first child, and we didn’t have a rocking chair, he gave it to us.
It sat in our nursery through all three children, and often lulled my kids to sleep. Kids who are now becoming adults themselves.
Sometimes I sit in that chair and think about all it has been through. I have a relationship with that chair. It has become one of my most cherished possessions. And the older I get, the more I appreciate all it symbolizes to me. If someone were to buy that chair at an antique auction, they might pay a few hundred dollars for it. But it is worth so much more than that to me.
We all relate to everything – we have relationships with everything. This is vitally important to understanding why people do what they do – including understanding why you do what you do.
IncredibleAdvantage.com offers YOU the world’s greatest success system. And part of that system is understanding relationships – how they work, and how you can work them.
If you want to dramatically increase your success, no matter how you define success, schedule a conversation with Todd Sivers today at meet.toddsivers.com.
The 9th Day - 7 Ways